The First Date

My wife and I met when I was 22. I was working at a local theater, and she had come to see Men at Work. I had the night off, so I was just there to watch the movie. I was playing a video game when she came up to say hello, and we hit it off pretty fast. We watched the movie together, and I got her some free popcorn and a drink, taking advantage of my job.

The following weekend, we went out for our first real date. I picked her up in my car. I had an interesting time convincing her not to touch the switches and buttons on the dashboard. I was starting to experiment with some gimmicks. My little Celica was turning into the closest approximation of the Batmobile that I could afford.

I took her out for pizza. Afterward, we went for a walk in the park. It was late, and the park was technically closed, but that just made it a better place for a date. We sat and talked for a while, and watched the creek flow by. When we came out, a police car was in the parking lot. We got a talking-to about tresspassing in the park after dark, but the policeman let us go with no troubles.

As we were leaving, the policeman got a call about some action. I had no idea what it was, but he sped around us and up the highway with his lights on. In any other situation, I'd have been following him with my lights out. (That's what some of the switches were for) This time, though, I couldn't give chase, as I had a "civilian" in the car. Needless to say, she had no idea of my powers at the time.

It was time to drive my date home, so I went in that direction. Coincidentally, that was also the direction that the policeman had gone. I decided that turning on the scanner, to see what the police were up to, wouldn't give away anything of my secret identity.

As it turns out, the police had given chase to a stolen police car. There had been a standoff at a man's house, and he ran. He got into a running patrol car and took off across town. There was a high speed chase all the way across town. He then spun around in a vacant lot and started back the way he came. By this time, the police chase had grown. One policeman had opened fire on the stolen patrol car before he was stopped by another. Things really got out of hand.

My date looked at me, amazed by the story that was unfolding. I realized that the chase was coming our way. After doing a quick calculation in my head, I suggested we stop for ice cream and watch the chase go by. She agreed.

The ice cream shop was on the left side of the road, requiring me to cross the other lane as the chase was about a half-mile out. As I crossed the lane, I pulled a lever below my seat. The lever connected to the earliest version of the oil-dump located inside my rear bumper. Five gallons of used engine oil dumped onto the road, spread across the entire lane. My date was watching for the oncoming traffic, and never saw me activate the dump.

We pulled into the parking space and got out of the car just in time to see the chase go by. The stolen police car skidded a short distance and turned sideways. Suddenly, the oil on the tires wore away. The rubber grabbed the road, and the car flipped. Several of the chase cars skidded on the slick as well, and before I knew what had happened, six police cars had been totalled.

Needless to say, I didn't take credit for the catch.

Nobody was hurt. The guy who stole the car had thought to put on his seatbelt during the chase, and was suspended upside-down until the police pulled him out and cuffed him.

For the first six months while we dated, my wife thought that the crazy things that happened on our dates were just coincidence. It wasn't until one day when she borrowed my car to run to the store when she discovered part of my secret. She tried to adjust her seat, and took out a bread truck. That night, I told her everything, and asked her to marry me. The next week, I started putting safety switches on my gadgets.